Ted & Ralph (1998) – Nostalgia Central

This feature-length spin-off from the hit BBC comedy series The Fast Show was based on sketches from the show featuring Lord Ralph Mayhew (Charlie Higson) and his faithful Irish estate worker, Ted (Paul Whitehouse).

The impoverished aristocrat lives in his family mansion (Ladybower Hall) on an expansive country estate. Ted had worked for Lord Mayhew’s late parents before Ralph inherited the estate.

Ralph’s world is turned upside-down when he is advised by his drunken lawyer, Rowley Birkin (also Paul Whitehouse), that a clause in his inheritance stipulates that he must marry by his next birthday or he’ll lose the house and the estate to his mad aunt Cecilia – which means Ted will also lose his cottage home and his livelihood.

The painfully shy and emotionally repressed landowner meets a succession of unsuitable choices, including horsey Henrietta Gladstone (Arabella Weir) – “How’s your jaw? Can you take a punch?”; sweet young Henrietta Blough-Pendleton (Miranda Richardson) who turns out to be – quite literally – a nazi, and nympho coke-head Henrietta Spain (Gina Bellman).

Ralph does eventually meet a girl who seems lovely and ideal – Wendy Carter (Saskia Wickham).

As Wendy consumes more and more of Ralph’s time, Ted experiences profound jealousy and heartbreak before discovering that Wendy’s brother, Cliff Carter (Simon Day), has engineered the romance solely to seize control of Ralph’s valuable estate and build a 5-star golf hotel.

Ted must step in to save the kind and vulnerable Ralph from total ruin.

It’s a tender comedy with almost unbearably sad moments, including extensive flashbacks detailing Ralph’s lonely childhood with a cruel father and a cold, thoughtless mother, when Ted was the only person who ever showed him true kindness.

There’s a great supporting cast, including Kathy Burke as Mrs Ted.

Location filming took place at the 300-year-old Cound Hall in Shropshire (former home of romance novelist Barbara Cartland) and Gaddesden Place near Hemel Hempstead in Hertfordshire.

Ted/Rowley Birkin/Kevin Brown
Paul Whitehouse
Ralph Mayhew/Aunt Cecilia/Ralph’s Father
Charlie Higson
Mrs Ted
Kathy Burke
Tall Tom/Cliff Carter/Friend of Dorothy
Simon Day
Short Tom
Paul Bigley
Mrs Jenkins/Ralph’s Mother/Henrietta Gladstone
Arabella Weir
Henrietta Blough-Pendleton
Miranda Richardson
Henrietta Spain
Gina Bellman
Lulu
Louise Brill
Miss Paxman
Eryl Maynard
Cousin Jack
Simon Roberts
Confirmed Bachelor
Mark Williams
Arm Wrestling Woman
Catherine Newell
Dog Barking Woman
Fiona Allen
Line Dancing Twins
Helen Cregeen
Debbie Stringer
Mrs Brown
Miriam Humphries
Young Ralph
Ollie Peel
Landowners at Party
Richard Griffiths
Richard Wilson
Girls at Party
Angela Lee
Donna Ewin
Wendy Carter
Saskia Wickham
Interior Designer
Colin McFarlane
Farmer
Andrew Livingston
Vicar
John Thomson

Director
Christine Gernon

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