Alien From L.A. (1988) – Nostalgia Central

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Unbelievably shrill Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Kathy Ireland makes her cinematic debut as Wanda Saknussemm, a bespectacled and insecure Valley Girl who lives with her Auntie Pearl (Linda Kerridge, who also appears later in the film in an evil role). Pearl runs a drive-in on the beach and speaks, inexplicably, with a bogus Southern accent.

Dumped by her surfer boyfriend because she’s “afraid to take chances” (but apparently not because she has a voice like a petulant chipmunk!), Wanda decides to waltz off to Africa in search of her missing archaeologist father (Richard Haines).

She accidentally follows his trail down a “bottomless pit” to the Earth’s core, where the subterranean civilisation of Atlantis exists in a state of malfunctioning, post-apocalyptic film noir aesthetics and people who talk like Australians.

Though the denizens of the cheerless, claustrophobic sunken city deny the existence of the “above world”, their technology and spoken language is 100% 1988 American, including their fashion sense, which runs half Saudi Arabian/half mall-purchased new wave.

Wanda quickly finds herself on the lam, hiding from the underworld government, and by the time they’ve put a price on her head as an “alien”, she’s already become a local celebrity.

She allies herself with Gus, a hard-as-steel miner (William R. Moses with an unexplained Australian accent), and what follows is the type of aimless, awkward action film on which director Pyun (Captain America) built a decades-long career.

The ridiculous levels of over-acting notwithstanding, this is one movie in which you can actually see on the screen where all $28.50 of the budget went.

Though this movie isn’t noted for its literary references, it’s worth mentioning that Wanda’s tongue-twisting last name is borrowed from a male character in Jules Verne’s Journey to the Centre of the Earth.

Alien from L.A. spawned a sequel that featured several of the same characters, lifted its title from Verne’s novel, and was an even greater strike against humanity.

Wanda Saknussemm
Kathy Ireland
Guten ‘Gus’ Edway
William R. Moses
Professor Arnold Saknussemm
Richard Haines
Robbie
Don Michael Paul
Charmin
Thom Mathews
General Rykov/Shank/Claims Officer
Janie du Plessis
Consul Triton Crassus/Mailman
Simon Poland
Roryis Freki/Auntie Pearl
Linda Kerridge
Stacy
Kristen Trucksess
Professor Ovid Galba/Paddy Mahoney
Lochner de Kock
Mambino
Deep Roy
Mago/Maintenance Worker/Evangelist/Pack Slag Jack
Albert Maritz
Loki
Russel Savadier
Anchorman
Denis Smith
Donaldson/Wrestling Announcer/Emcee
James Lithgow
Brick Bardo
Christian Andrews
Belli the Bookie/Belguy the Busybody/Maintenance Chief
Drummond Marais
Lord Over/Diner Cook/Bartender
Fats Bookholane
Dr Madagasi
Paul Jacobs
Tola
Jeff Weston
Vina Black
Johanna Corrander
Waller Klondike
Terry Norton
Bel Lava/Susan
Mary Ireland
Troll Bag Lady
Deborah Chesher
Young Wanda
Angela Greenblatt